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Christianity was supposed to be about becoming like Jesus. | |
We went in the wrong direction. |
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Guilt, Shame, and Regret
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| We are all born
ignorant and selfish. As a result we often do and say things of which
we are later ashamed. The world’s philosophy would have one ignore,
excuse, or repudiate these feelings, but they can be useful. Consider
the narcissist who goes through life using and trashing other people
with no concern. Who would choose to be that person. The emotional reaction we have after recognizing what we have done wrong can be used to stiffen resolve to not make the same error in the future. It can also be useful to motivate us to apologize, make restitution, or otherwise try to repair damage we have caused. Emotions can provide the energy to do things that are difficult. At the other end of the spectrum can be emotions that cripple or paralyze. Once all that is useful of shame and regret has been extracted, they should not be held on to as they can become a sort of prison that inhibits getting on with one’s life. There are two types of shame, that we feel for what we have done to others and that we feel for what is within us. Internal shame can result from feeding pleasurable sensations that we know are wrong or from a damaged identity from childhood. Much can be done to repair a damaged identity with the analytical application of truth. For example, the child that was always told he was stupid can reflect that even if he is stupid, so what? Also the assessment of a parent or teacher does not make the assessment correct. It is more likely that such assessments were made by someone with emotional problems and may not be that reliable. Slowly the influence of such developmental distrtions can be replaced with that which is more accurate. Shameful internal processes are more difficult to deal with because they parallel the addiction process. Often truth can be used to reduce the desirability of the object of ideation. Here the Christian has the advantage of prayer and asking the Holy Spirit to cleanse the thought process. Simply postponing opportunities to indulge the flesh also helps introduce a degree of control. Shame and guilt can be used to marshal the emotional energy to sustain efforts to make changes. A person of prominence can be brought low by the exposure of a shameful secret. For those of us honest enough to recognize that within us that is shameful, exposure is not necessary. Those prone to vanity and pride can make use of guilt and shame to help advance in humility. Humility is the state we should all come to via truth. As we grow in truth, we begin to appreciate our fallen state and need for a Savior. In denominations with an emphasis of following laws and rules, one can feel shame and guilt for failing. However, many approach rule following in the flesh and are almost certain to fail. We should feel shame and guilt for trying to perfect ourselves. For a Christian, the path to “perfection” lies in the work that the Holy Spirit is allowed to do in us. Quench not the Spirit. - 1 Thessalonians 5:19 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law. - Galatians 5:22-23 |
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Information about Christianity and the Christian life. |
Pictures and views of our farm | Some of our animals | See some of the old-fashioned crafts we are trying to relearn | ||