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Choosing Friends

Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners. - 1 Corinthians 15:33

Paul in writing the Corinthians had to address the many problems they were having. One of the problems were people that were saying that there is no resurrection of the dead. He gives a lengthy correction of this assertion and ends with a warning that listening to people who are wrong can cause one to be imprinted with their error.

Perhaps a more clear translation can be found with the Amplified version;

1Co 15:33 Do not be so deceived and misled! Evil companionships (communion, associations) corrupt and deprave good manners and morals and character. - Amplified

A more modern warning might be “If you lie down with dogs, you can get up with fleas”. The 1950s movie “Marty” captures this with aging youth in their 30s asking each other on Saturday nights, “I don’t know, what do you want to do?” The movie ends with the protagonist finally breaking out of this almost tribal bondage. In a way it shows the effect social connections can be a prison and even poison.

My uncle, in talking about my grandparents generation, commented that they were primitive and provincial because their friends were their siblings and cousins. He commented that his generation (born in the 1920s) were more citizens of the world. I was saddened by this because he seemed unaware that all of his “friends” may have been interested in him because he had an important government position. For most of us “friends” are neighbors, schoolmates, or coworkers. Our friends are usually determined by proximity, similarity of temperament, or interest.

We may not even be aware of the influence of others on us when we are younger. The age segregation of school can further accentuate the influence of peers as one often tries to “fit in” to gain social acceptance. Many are never able to change their trajectory in life that these early associations can set one on.

My grandparents generation was the last raised in a world defined by muscle power (their own, others, and horses). The modern world defined by steam, oil, and electrical power has seen families shrink and with it the close friendships that families could provide. Often one finds a sort of one sided “friendship” with media like TV, movies, and the Internet where we take in what others have decided is truth. Public education helps condition us to passively take in the information transmitted to us. The burden of real friendship (demands on time and the challenges of deeper relationships) is minimized because through media one is presented with sanitized one dimensional characters designed to be pleasing.

Those of Corinth making false assertions have been replaced today by imaginary characters.who are more insidious as they cannot be held accountable for the harm they do to others. Consider that never before in history has a society been so transformed in a few decades that the practice of casual fornication would be considered acceptable.

We are so used to imaginary “friends” who flatter and please us that the actions of a real Christian friend who would admonish or challenge us is often seen as hostile and unwelcome. Perhaps it would be useful for us to reflect on who we have established “friendships” with.

Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God. - James 4:4

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