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What is Love?

This word has caused a lot of confusion as it can mean several different things. Basically it can refer to an emotional condition with elements of desire, expectation, affection, anticipation, and even lust. This state seldom lasts and is often what is meant by falling into and lout of “love”.

For the Christian the word love means less of what happens to you and more what you decide. The Greek word eros is used to describe the sensations that many associate with the English word love. The Greek words philo adelphous refer to brotherly love. The Greek word agape caries with it a more noble aspect that can be seen when the bible defines it in 1 Corinthians;

1Co 13:4 Love suffereth long, and is kind; love envieth not; love vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,

1Co 13:5 doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not its own, is not provoked, taketh not account of evil;

1Co 13:6 rejoiceth not in unrighteousness, but rejoiceth with the truth;

1Co 13:7 beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

This gives us a picture of the choice to put others ahead of ourselves. It may be that the KJV translators chose the word “charity” to translate agape here to differentiate it from the more sensual aspect of the English word “love”. In a way it is a picture of the love God has for us. People often accuse God of being cruel because of all the suffering and inequity in the world. However, he “beareth” all things (the consequences of our evil) because he would see some of us turn from sin to faith.

The passionate sensations often called love seldom retain their intensity. Some chase after new sources of sensation with serial adultery as if they were drug addicts looking for the next fix. Those who desire to build a marriage and family need to understand that feelings can be variable (come, go, and come again), the choice to extend what might be called self-sacrificial love is the real foundation of a deep, lasting, and strong relationship. Two people interested in giving to each other will have a happier life than two people who only seek to take from each other.

While people can surrender self for another, it is generally uncommon and sporadic. This is where Christianity offers a real advantage. If allowed, the indwelling Holy Spirit works to make us more capable of real self-sacrificial love;

Gal 5:22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith,

Gal 5:23 Meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.

Both truth and love are crippled by what the bible calls the “flesh”. Our baser nature desires comfort and pleasure. This is what drives consumptive selfishness. This often distorts reality with delusion and deception. It can be difficult to differentiate when someone says, “I love you”, if they are experiencing powerful emotional sensations, attempting to deceive you, or are making a declaration of their desire to sacrifice themselves for you.This is where discernment and truth can be useful.

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